Konoha Bashing Contest
by sftballnaru999
Summary: It's burning hot in Konoha! So what do the Leaf 12 do? BASHING CONTEST! And oh yea, Sasuke's a pimp! If you squint, slight SasuSaku, NaruHina, and SasuSakuIno... Once again, if you squint.


**Disclaimer- I soooo do not own Naruto… I wish…**

**a/n Purely for the heck of it. I've had this fic ready to write like a month ago, before **

**I even started "We're Back" so, yea. This has been in the making for a while. **

**ON WITH IT!**

Konoha Bashing Contest

"I'm tired…" said Naruto.

"I'm bored…" said Naruto.

"I'm hot…" said Naruto.

"I'm tired…" said Naruto.

"WE GET IT!!! YOU'RE TIRED, HOT AND BORED!!!! GOSH!!!" said Sakura. She and Sasuke had been listening to Naruto's complaining a whole two hours. They were waiting for Kakashi, and this time he was especially late.

"I believe I should be 'Gosh-ing' you Sakura-chan! Right, Sasuke-teme? All of a sudden, you just started to yell at me!" said a 12-year-old Naruto. It's was one of the hottest days ever recorded in Konoha, and everyone, even Sasuke, was getting a little testy.

"Just stop talking Naruto… Spare us all…" Sasuke said. Sakura swooned at the sound of his voice.

"I totally agree with you Sasuke…" Sakura said, in a tried-seductive tone. It didn't work. Sasuke just ignored her.

At that moment, Hinata, Neji, Tenten, Shino, Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, Kiba, and Lee all showed up.

"Our senseis are all missing as well" said Lee. Everyone swore they could see a slight tear in Lee's eyes. Being a way from Guy for this long did Lee no good. There was a collective sigh among all the genins.

"I know what we could do!" yelled Naruto, "Lets have a bashing contest!" Everyone of the other eleven kids went back to talking in their little groups. But soon, everyone took into consideration what Naruto had just suggested.

"Sure… yea" was muttered amongst the kids in agreement.

"That was a great idea Sasuke!" said Ino, as she leaned against said boys side, with hearts in her eyes.

"Hey! That was MY idea!!" yelled Naruto. There was a reason his voice was so raspy. He was always yelling!

"Who are you?" Sakura and Ino both said mindlessly, not paying attention to anything else, but they're beloved one.

"Let's just get started!" yelled Tenten. She had played this before. With whom? She doesn't remember. But she did remember the rules, and she told them to the Leaf 12, making sure to leave nothing out.

This process was basically a bunch of yelling. They figured out who was on who's team, and the order in which they went. Poor Hinata was last for her team because they didn't think she'd be very good.

First up for the other team, was Sasuke. Ignoring the order they picked out, Naruto barged up to the front, and stared Sasuke in the eye.

"You're goin' downnnn! Oh yes! You know it!" He whispered, which for Naruto sounds like regular talking.

"You're head looks like a porcupine" SASUKE TALKED!

"You're head looks like a chicken's butt!" HAHHA!

"Dobe" Ouch.

"Teme!" Ouch. Copier.

"No girls like you" Huh, didn't know Sasuke noticed girls and stuff…

"Well, you don't like girls!"

…

…

"Hey where are you going Sasuke?" Naruto yelled after his retreating team mate "It's just a game! Get back here so I can kick you're but even harder!" Ino ran after her crush.

"Wait! Sasuke come back! I don't think you're gay! COME BACK TO MEEE!!!!!" the blonde yelled, while following the emotionally hurt emo-kid.

Next were Sakura and Naruto.

"Just for hurting him, I'm going to crush you!" Sakura said. "_Hell yea!_" is what Inner-Sakura said. Tenten stood in between the blonde and pink haired shinobi, as if to make sure they didn't start yet. She stepped back and the words flew.

"You're not naturally pink haired!" She can prove that, only… yea, no.

"Well, you're definitely naturally stupid" NICE ONE!!!!

"You're a Sasuke fan-girl!" Wow…

"You'll never be Hokage" Ouch…That one hurt…

"Sasuke will never like you!" Ohhhhhh!!!!!!!

"Well, Hinata likes you, but you're too dense to notice!" Silence followed. Hinata blushed extremely red. Sakura left screaming, "Honey! Sasuke! Woo hoo! I'm coming!"

"Sakura won that round…but she left… so now what…" Shino asked. Everyone was chattering up a storm, including Hinata, when Tenten whistled one of those really loud whistles that hurts ears. (a/n Gosh! Our lunch lady last year did that! IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!!)

Everyone cringed.

"Since Sakura left, and she won, that's like a forfeit. Only she totally won, so Naruto you're out!"

So, now the teams stood as the following.

Left- Neji, Shino, Lee, and Shikamaru

Right- Hinata, Kiba, and Tenten

Hinata's team decided to go ahead and sacrifice Hinata to spare the other team.

So it was Hinata and Neji who were up. Cousin rivalry was burning in the cores of both their beings. Neji was the prodigy, while Hinata was the underdog. Hinata was also a "sacrifice." Bust no one expected was happened next…

"You're weak, and you're family doesn't want you!" That must've hurt…

"You're hair is ugly" Everyone was thinking, '_you couldn't have thought of something better?_' and no. She couldn't have thought of anything better, because what happened next was priceless.

"How DARE you? You're the one with the BOY cut!" Neji sobbed.

"Then maybe we should trade" Hinata stated matter of factly.

"It is rather smooth and sultry like a girls isn't it?" Hinata walked up to the crying Neji, and touched his hair. It was really soft and… she could've kept her hand there all day. She could probably even SLEEP on his head, his hair was so soft! "No, and by the way, Neji. I just put one of Shino's bugs in your hair!"

Neji's eyes widened, and he activated his byakugan.

"AHHHHH!!!!!!!" Neji screamed, surprisingly girly. And… so did Shino.

"YOU TOOK BETTY!??!?! SHE WAS MY ONE AND ONLY!!!!" The bug boy yelled out. The remaining people were looking back and forth between, the fuming Shino, the sobbing Neji, and the calm and 'innocent' Hinata.

Neji ran off the grounds, a river following, as well as Shino. Well, Shino wasn't following. He was chasing, to get Betty back. After all, she was his 'One and only.'

The remaining-

Left- Lee and Shikamaru.

Right- Hinata, Kiba, and Tenten.

Everyone who was remaining decided that they should catch their breath for a little while. They were all tired from the excitement, but Hinata didn't want to rest.

"I'M ON A ROLE!!!!" She yelled, as her team stepped back, away from her.

Next were Lee and Hinata.

"There's no such thing as youth. It's a myth. Guy was lying to you. He's a liar you know. He lied about being 26. He's really 29." Ouch. That one had to hurt Lee.

"GUY SENSEI!!!!!!" Lee yelled as he ran off the premises. It did hurt indeed. Tenten kind of felt bad for the little guy… Shikamaru walked up in front of Hinata yawning.

"You're a lazy bum, Shikamaru!"

"You got that right…" Shikamaru droned, as he turned around to walk away. He just wanted to go home and take a nap. There was enough thinking in that day to cover his week, since he didn't have any missions to do.

"I g-guess I won guys…" Hinata stuttered out, finally back into character. Naruto was still there watching, because it was too interesting to leave. He stood up, and walked over to Hinata.

"Where'd you learn to do that Hinata? I thought you were the quiet type!" the blonde said, as he linked arms with the small girl.

"I'm quiet because I'm always listening… and learning w-what other people get b-bothered by the most…" Naruto took this in for a second. He was impressed.

"Wanna go get some ramen? I'm STARVED!" Of course… Naruto and his one-track mind.

"Sure!" Hinata answered as she blushed.

_Meanwhile…_

"GIVE ME BACK BETTY!!!!" Shino yelled as he yanked at Neji's now tangled hair.

"Stop touching my hair! NO! STOP! You're ruining it!"

"I'll cut it if I don't get MY SOUL MATE BACK!!!!"

"NOOOO!!!!!!" sobsob.

"YES!!!" Shino screamed as he jumped on Neji's back, and pulled out a kunai.

_Meanwhile…_

"It's okay Sasuke! We know you like girls!" said Ino and Sakura in unison, and they sat on Sasuke's sides. His arms were around both the girls shoulders.

"I know girls… I know…" He said, in a playa-ish kind of way. He kissed them both on the cheek. Both Ino and Sakura giggled at their new boyfriend.

_Meanwhile…_

"ZzZzZzZzZz…." said Shikamaru.

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**a/n I loved this! I don't know if you guys found it funny, but you tell me! I'll tell you something though. IT WAS EXTREMELY FUN TO WRITE!!!! So please, R&R!!!**

**Me- Ow ow, Sasuke, you Playa you!**

**Sasuke- I know right? What can I say, Chicks dig hard to get!**

**Me- Meow! You know it boy!**


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